The Power of Human Connection: Practicing Empathy through Art — Museumable
Have you ever felt truly connected — mind, body and soul — to another person? The peaceful joy that comes with feeling deeply seen and understood and valued; it’s like nothing else on Earth. Maybe it was a family member or a best friend that made you feel that you belonged. That all was right with your place in the world.
Powerful stuff. And with good reason because humans are hard-wired for connection. It’s a neurobiological survival method. We thrive on connection and we can feel lost without it. (Think about it: solitary confinement is effective punishment for that very reason!)
So how do we create and maintain genuine connections? Through practicing empathy, building trust and navigating conflict. Let’s go into more detail on each of these elements and talk about how we practice them at the art museum.
EMPATHY
Empathy is a buzz word in the business world these days. As it well should be! From publications like Forbes to professional platforms like LinkedIn, empathy reigns as the secret weapon for business growth.
Entrepreneur Magazine guest writer Maria Ross puts it this way: “We all know empathy is the right thing to do, but empathy is not just good for the world (and our own sanity). It can also bring a competitive advantage in business. Our ability to see the world from the perspective of others is one of the most crucial tools in our business toolbox.” In addition, workplaces that promote empathy report many benefits; such as, increased sales, loyalty and referrals; accelerated productivity and innovation; greater competitive advantage and market value; expanded engagement and collaboration; better retention and higher morale. ( source)
Empathy is often incorrectly interpreted as sensitivity or weakness; it’s often associated with tears, like crying during sad parts in films. Nothing wrong with that, by the way. If you’ve ever ugly-cried in public, you’ve simply shown your humanity. (Or maybe you feel nothing at all when others express emotions, which means you’re either a psychopath or a robot. In either case, I really can’t help you.)
Empathy is actually a success superpower! It helps us gain valuable perspective and create a deeper understanding of others’ motivations, skills and interests. The key to empathy is shared experiences. When we look at a painting with children laughing or at a sculpture of soldiers fighting, our brains try to make connections with those stories. As we interpret the underlying emotion, our minds will search for a personal experience that elicited the same feeling. Often, specific memories arise. It might not be the same situation as the artwork — none of us have memories of living in 17th century Holland or fighting in Civil War battles — but we can still connect with the same emotions.
Practicing empathy with art leads to flexing that empathy muscle in real-life situations.
TRUST & LOYALTY
This is BIG. It takes for-EV-er to build and it can completely shatter in an instant. Tricky, right?!
One effective way to build trust is to simply be yourself: be consistent in your temperament, behavior and boundaries. Truth be told, being an open book can make you feel extremely vulnerable until you see the rock-solid bonds it creates. The trick is that you have to first TRUST YOURSELF. This is something we don’t get enough practice doing. We often seek cues from external sources and validation from other people. But trusting yourself is an essential first step. This means knowing your values, setting appropriate boundaries to protect them and operating with that integrity every day. Yeah, it’s hard! But it’s 100% possible.
A common theme I see with leaders is the pressure to be perfect; always make the right decision at the right time with the right attitude. Showing any kind of flaw or weakness is completely unacceptable! Really? Is it? Last time I checked, we’re all imperfect humans operating as best we can in this crazy world. Being honest about your flaws actually makes you more relatable. Don’t you feel relieved when you see someone with the same flaws that you have? It’s it nice to know that you’re not the only one. Besides, who wants the pressure of being perfect all the time?! No, thank you. (It doesn’t exist!)
“Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together.”
- Brené Brown
And that brings us to vulnerability. Ick.
I know, this makes people want to bury their head in the sand or run for the hills. We’re very uncomfortable with vulnerability because our society has deemed it dangerous. Why? Because it goes against our primal instinct to survive. Sure, being physically vulnerable can get you killed. (Obviously, not good.) But being emotionally vulnerable won’t! Our brains can’t really understand the difference; similar to the way mental stress can trick the physical body into fight-or-flight mode.
When we look at art, it’s easier to work with vulnerability because there’s no risk. The artwork will not argue with you or judge you or think less of you. There’s no right or wrong with personal interpretations — whatever you get out of it has value. The physical presence of art helps us discuss abstract themes in more concrete terms. The museum also provides a safe space to explore difficult emotions; it’s removed from the “real world” and its consequences. Working in pairs or small groups can ease us into hard conversations.
Connection requires trust.
Trust requires vulnerability.
Vulnerability requires courage.
Art is a gateway to all of these topics.
NAVIGATING CONFLICT
As someone who’s natural response is to avoid conflict like the plague, I still have a lot of work to do here. Maybe you do too. The reality is that conflict is a part of life and you’re not doing anyone any favors by ignoring it. You can’t outrun it (believe me, I’ve tried!) or just wait for it to pass because it will always catch up with you.
So before a small issue becomes a big conflict, tackle that tough conversation head on, early on. Yeah, it’s uncomfortable. Discomfort is another thing to get familiar with as it happens constantly and is unavoidable in life. Acknowledge the discomfort and lean into it anyway.
Here are some tips to navigate conflict:
1. Begin with agreement: what’s the problem here? Identify the conflict without getting into a heated blame game. By focusing on the problem itself instead of people involved, you can avoid defensive emotional armor.
2. Ask for their point of view: it’s not about you or them but about a problem that needs to be solved. It helps to validate feelings here, but not indulge in blame or guilt.
3. Resist rebuttal: stop yourself from jumping in to defend yourself. (This is HARD.)
4. Share your point of view: now it’s your turn to express your thoughts and feelings around the issue (not the person).
5. Find a solution: try to find common ground once again by focusing on problem-solving.
6. Keep in touch: check in periodically until the problem is resolved. If possible, don’t rush it! It can take time to process these conversations and mull over ways to resolve the issue at hand. Unfortunately, some problems are unsolvable. Perpetual problems just need to be managed. (That’s a whole different topic, so I won’t go into that here. To learn more, check out Dr. John Gottman’s work here!)
Daring leaders who live into their values are never silent about hard things.
- Brené Brown
At Museumable, CONNECTION is heavily featured in our methodology as part of the Five C’s of Emotional Intelligence. Join us for an online course or in-person workshop to strengthen your EQ skills today!
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Originally published at https://www.museumable.com on April 24, 2020.
